My race weekend started at about 1:00pm on Friday when my friend, Meredith arrived at my place to pick me up. I was lucky enough to head down a day early and get to hang with my three friends, Meredith, Christine and Erica. These three incredible ladies were going to be running the 100 mile version of this race and I was really excited for all of them! They are three of the strongest people I know and I had no doubt they would all get over that 100 mile finish line on Sunday. I felt lucky and honored to be able to spend some time with them all before the race started.
We made it to the pre-race meeting with a little time to spare. We even got to have our pre-race portraits taken!
Hennepin is a point to point race and our cabin was very close to the 100 mile finish line which made the most sense for my superwomen friends when they would be coming back on Sunday. This meant that we had about an hour-long drive to the starting line in Sterling. There was energy in the car during this ride, but it was noticeably different than the day before. There was not much chatter, at least out loud during this car-ride. I think our minds were definitely buzzing away in anticipation, nervousness and uncertainty even though we weren’t saying much.
We arrived at the starting line with plenty of time, especially since the race ended up starting just a little late because of a bus getting lost. It was nice to be able to have time to get my pack all organized, take some pictures, go to the bathroom and socialize a little bit with good friends before the start.
We all stuck together past the first aid station and soon after, I realized that I needed to slow down because I was going a little too fast. I didn’t really say anything, because that’s always a little awkward. Sorry if I was rude, guys! I just fell back. I was totally ok with it. My race, my pace.
I could still see my friends for quite awhile, at least 8 or so miles, but it was only a matter of time before I couldn’t see them anymore. Mike was at the third aid station at almost 15 miles and I was so happy to see him! This aid station was run by one of my running groups, the MUDD runners, so there were a lot of friendly faces here and it was a great pick-me-up. I grabbed some PB&J and other snacks and tried to get going without spending too much time there. I was feeling really good at this point. I was had completed almost 30% of the race!
The next leg was pretty steady, but in looking at my splits, this is where I started to slow down a bit. Except for the miles that included the aid stations, I was averaging between 12 and 12:30 minute miles with my 4 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking very consistently for the first 15 miles. I thought that I could live there a little longer, but apparently not. The flatness of the trail was starting to work on me. I lived in the 13:00’s for the next 18 miles. It was a little disheartening because I trained on flat trails, so I was surprised that I got sore so quickly. I knew it would affect my end time more than I really would have liked, but I still thought I had a chance of finishing in under 12 hours. But what are you going to do but keep moving, right?
At the 4th aid station, I was able to change my shirt, hat and towel. That was HUGE! I was so sweaty and the fresh clothes and towel gave me a little boost, as did the great food at the aid stations. I lived mostly on PB&J’s, boiled potatoes with salt and the occasional cookie. I also tried a little bit of Coke at a few aid stations toward the end and the caffeine and sugar gave me a small recharge that I needed. The people at all of the aid stations were great. They were ready to fill my water pack and my handheld with Tailwind as soon as I got there. They helped me put it all back together and on and didn’t mind my sweatiness. I need to volunteer sometime soon and give back some of this love that was shown to me. It was so appreciated.
Sometime after mile 19, things started to get hard. My quads were starting to hurt but I feel like I was still in good spirits. Thankfully, I got to chat with some really nice people on the trail and I even got to meet one of my Facebook friends in person for the first time, which is always fun. One lively group of runners asked me my name because they were “collecting names.” We chatted and found we had a lot in common as they were from Lake County and one lady was a teacher. I told them that I was a music teacher and they told me that they had just met another music teacher. She was blond and was wearing InkBurn clothes. So that gave me another person to keep an eye out for.
When I saw Mike at aid station 7 which was at around mile 32, I almost cried. “This is really hard,” I whined. Thankfully, this aid station really rocked. There was more PB & J, coke, and Mike was incredible and brought a chair for me to sit down in for a few minutes. That was amazing and so helpful and not something I would have thought of ahead of time. I am so thankful he was there. Originally, I was not going to have him come. I thought I could do it all myself. I can tell you, though, if he had not come, this race would have been substantially harder than it was and I would have fallen apart. I know it. I am so thankful my wonderful husband was there.
Soon after leaving aid station 7, I was regretting that I didn’t stop at the bathroom. Somewhere in the 20’s, there was a bathroom just off of the trail that I had used and since we were heading back in that direction on the other side of the canal, I thought maybe I’d be lucky and there would be another. Time ticked away and I wasn’t seeing a bathroom. I kept scanning the tree line to see if there was a good place to stop, but as soon as there was, I’d look behind me and there would be at least one person who would see me go off in the trees and I was a little embarrassed. I shouldn’t have been, but I was. Finally I was all clear and stopped and figured it all out. But when I emerged from the trees, there were a few guys coming up on the trail. So to break the ice, I put my arms up and yelled, “I did it! I can check that off my bucket list!” They obviously knew exactly what I was talking about and they got a good laugh.
The next two aid stations were by far my favorite and so well-timed in the race for me, at least. I could hear the Flatlanders aid station before I could see it because they had some fun music pumping that I could hear at least .25 miles before I got there. It was great to see friends here and sit down again for a few minutes. Mike took my picture when I left the Flatlanders aid station at mile 38.7. I love this picture!
I got to the last aid station before the end and saw even more familiar faces. Jean and Karen were there and seeing them and getting their final encouragement before I was going to finish the last leg of this race up was the perfect thing I needed. It was starting to get dark, though. That was really bumming me out. I didn’t think I’d be finishing in the complete dark, so that upset me, more than I realized, it turned out. But I strapped my headlamp on and got moving.
Those last 3 miles were hard. It was so dark and I was sore and not happy about being in the dark when I thought I was going to finish much earlier than it was. But thankfully I saw Erica and our good friend, Jeff when I was only 1.5 mile from finishing. They both hugged me and encouraged me and that helped me get through that last bit. Finally, I was getting closer and closer. I could hear the cheers of the small crowd when someone ahead of me finished. I could see some lights in the distance and I knew I was closer. I would start to run and then realize that I wasn’t as close and I had thought I was and I’d walk again. After what seemed like forever, but had really probably only been 5 or 7 minutes I could tell that I was almost there. I saw Mike and saw the aid station and eventually I saw the finish chute. I made it across the finish line and my good friend, Karen placed the medal around my neck and congratulated me. I felt good, but mostly just glad to be done. Not elated. Not inspired, necessarily. Just tired, and most of all - glad I finished.
I struggled this week with my feelings about this race. I battled and fought with these emotions inside and to myself for almost 7 days before I ended up mentioning to one friend in a facebook feed that I was feeling really weird and I didn’t understand it. That one mention was all it took to open a floodgate. I don’t understand why it is so often that I have to be beaten over the head with the concept that I need to ask for help more. As soon as I said that, so many friends shared and opened up that it was completely normal to feel depressed or unhappy at this point. That they had felt this way before and that whatever it was that I was feeling was 100% ok. And despite the fact that I felt like an outsider and ashamed because of these feelings, it actually meant I was more of a part of the group than I had realized. The love and kindness these people have shown me leaves me speechless and in awe over and over again. I can’t begin to explain just how thankful I am that I found my running friends.
So where do I go from here? I’m not sure. I am not 100% sold on this 50 mile business. This realization was part of the reason I was sad about the whole thing this week. I felt like I should have enjoyed it more and what the hell did I just spend 23 weeks preparing for if I didn’t even really like race. But that’s not entirely true. I did like the race, but what am I so upset about? So trying to dissect what it was exactly that is causing these unsettling feelings is still going to take some time, I guess. But here’s what I know to be true:
#1 I did it. I covered 50 miles. Yes, it took me longer than I would have liked. Sure, it was pitch black and dark when I finished. But I still did it and that is pretty amazing and I know I need to remember that above all.
#2 I got what I expected: I got to run in a beautiful new place, meet really incredible people, hang out with my awesome friends and do something different.
#3 The training for this race taught me so many things. I got to know friends better. I got to listen to and follow really great and wise advice. And I did so many hard things like run over 50 miles in a week, and close to 200 in one month and run all day long. The training made me so strong and boosted my confidence like no other race or training plan has ever done. And while it may be true that I didn’t leave the race feeling this way, the training for this race was incredible and left me feeling like I could do anything.
#4 Running has changed my life in so many ways and for that and the friends I’ve made because of it, I will be eternally grateful.
Now that this is over, I am looking forward to just running when and where and how far I want to for a little while. The best thing, though, has been talking to other people who are now interested in starting to hit the trails with me. My favorite running buddies and I are talking about tackling a 50K in Kentucky in April and my husband said he wants to try it out too and maybe even do Earth Day 50K next year together. That is such a gift! I would love to see him benefit from all that the trails and the people who hang out there have to offer like I have this last year.
Thanks so much for caring and for reading friends. Stay tuned for more adventures, not sure when, but I know they are coming.