I am going to be a tad whiny. If you can't handle it right now, I understand. Go and continue to scroll your FB feed for a feel-good saying by Maya Angelou or more pictures of your friends adorable cherubs or furry children. I need to vent and whine. You don't need to be a party to it if you don't want to.
*** Back to the regularly scheduled blogpost***
I am so disappointed. What I'm SUPPOSED to be doing is training for the Earth Day 50K. My first trail race that's NOT in a foot of snow. My first 50K.
What I AM doing right now is sitting with my feet up and my left knee in a brace.
And did I mention, wallowing in self-pity???
Pretty early on into the start of the training for this race, I started having IT band issues. At the end of one of my long runs about 5 weeks ago, it started hurting at the end of 18 miles. I took a few days off and because of the cold that week, stuck to the dreadmill and was fine. Long story short, each of the next three weekends, once I got to 10-12 miles, it started acting up.
I reached out to my people on FB and as per their suggestions, I have used my foam roller diligently. I've stretched. I've included more walking and slowed my pace. I've stopped to stretch mid run. I even got new shoes. And each week, that nagging, tugging sensation on the left side of my left knee starts hollering at me 10-12 miles in.
I am so disappointed.
The last three weeks, I tried to stay positive.
"I still have 10 weeks left." I thought three weeks ago
"It's ok, there's still 9 weeks left. Plenty of time to shake this." I thought two weeks ago.
"I'm recovering much quicker after each of these incidents. It must be getting better. Glad I have 8 weeks left." I thought 1 week ago.
But when the slightly sore feeling this Saturday turned to what I knew deep down to be the beginning of the end of my run, I couldn't help it. I stopped in my tracks because it was so painful to plod down that hill and I cried.
And cried.
And I cried for a mile or more. I must have been a sight: Tramping through the woods leaving piles of tears. Thankfully the park was pretty empty. I didn't have any more positive quips or motivational thoughts left. I started to feel like this 50k wasn't in the cards.
And that's where I am now. I took yesterday off completely. This morning I woke up early and headed to the YMCA to swim a mile. As headed out to my car afterwards into the balmy and beautiful weather that is gracing us this week (THIS week, that I'm taking off running, of course!!) I wanted to literally scream at the gorgeous sky, "WHY!! Why are you torturing me so?"
I threw my bag into the car, slammed the door shut behind me and tried to collect my emotions.
"What am I supposed to learn from this?" I said out-loud to myself.
"This is not a sport for the impatient." I heard in my head. Either the host of my current favorite podcast (Ten Junk Miles, check them out! They are GREAT!)or the person the panel was interviewing did on a recent show. This quote was the impetus for my even signing up for this race. That is the impression it had on me. This is the core value I wanted to work on within myself and why I even decided to sign up for this race.
So I wait. And rest. And I'll get a massage this week. And watch all my friends post about how they are enjoying awesome runs in this beautiful weather...without me. And try to have faith that I'm doing the right thing. And hopefully, in a week, things will be much better and I'll be back on the trails.